Venetian Snares or should i say Mr. Funk, and the Mr here is appropriate, this isn’t rap were there is a tendency to add things were things aren’t supposed to exist, well Venetian Snares is the brainchild of one Aaron Funk, more like a stage name, Uhhh? just call me Venetian Snares, because… well my name sucks (and everybody pauses for a moment… but it’s Funk…Funk is cool…no?), back to reality, the new album is called Cavalcade of Glee and Dadaist Happy Hardcore Pom Poms, uhhh it has that warm feeling of electronic music, the longer the title the smaller the…, yeah it’s glitchcore (and noisecore and now that i think of it all breakcore) and i have to say that i quite enjoy this types of electronical music.

As a side note, this album, in retrospective with his latest releases, sees venetian snares… humm how can i put it … more mellow? well more like giving up on that garage band experimental sound, for a more clean cut pseudo commercial sound, the formula seems to be repetitive, there are almost always 2 distinct (sometimes 3 or 4) tracks normally at least one is playing in a normal or slow pace and the other ones are in hiperdrive mode (mostly cut beats, that only someone like him can do) and when i say hiperdrive is just because if he turns the bpm up a point you will hear a continuous horrible sound, that’s how fast it goes.

The album starts with “Donut”, and it’s a really nice track with a large build up, that goes to one of his mixtures of cut beats, not going overboard, more like a intro so you’ll get used to it, next comes “Swindon” and you start to get the big picture this is all about the beat the rest is there just to make it sound better and to give ambient sound for the continuous deconstructions of the beats, next comes “Pwntendo”, that goes for that classical and comfortable 8bit sound, that Nintendo inprinted on the back of everyone’s mind, well its that, but at stupid speed “OH THIS SHIT IS GREAT” kind of thing, next comes “Xiii’s Dub” that sounds more like a interlude, but a nice one, good after that mind blowing blast from the last track.

Next comes “Vache”, amazing just like the next one “Plunging Hornets” full speed in a sea of apparent randomness all the way, “Twirl” again slows it down, it has a lot in common with “Xiii’s Dub” it gives you a break from all that sonic aggression, next comes “Tache” and its a lot like “Swindon”, but in this case slowing the album down to “P” and this one is… a bit weak, a pure interlude to the last track “Cancel” and it actually sounds like something more experimental and not in tune with the rest of the album, nice, but nothing especial.

I have to say i always like Venetian Snares, sure this album is a bit played down, and i always have that feeling that if he spent a couple of more weeks working with the material that it would have been excellent, I’ll have to say that although most tracks are excellent that the album seems and feels like a patchwork, i have the tendency to listen all the way up to “Plunging Hornets”, and disconnecting on “Twirl”, no point going on or maybe I’m just tired, yeah because this kind of music tends to become tiresome, not only because of the randomness and aggression of the beats but i think most likely because even though it’s a work of art the way that he deconstructs the beats, it all seems to follow the same formula and pattern, and that makes it predictable and therefore lacks that replay value, nevertheless like i said i love his work, and so should you, hehehe.

Venetian Snares - Vache

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Ahhh Unearth, the bastard child of metalcore, seems I’m one of those people that tend to look at metalcore with a critical eye, but Unearth is one of those bands that just doesn’t let me bash the genre to death, why? well the boys have skill, sure other bands have skill as well, but they have in my view, the skill required to play metalcore, they are not overly technical, but they show a prowess to explore the genre, that few seem to possess, so a new album, uhhh i hope it’s something good.

After having a go at “III: In The Eyes of Fire” one thing is certain this is heavier, darker and much more violent, and i say that in a good way, with all of this also comes something not that common with metalcore, it’s a more difficult listening, it lacks that immediate appeal, but it seems just like crack after a couple of listening you won’t need anything else, the album starts with “This Glorious Nightmare” and slap me silly if it isn’t just plain old Unearth even with the “oh we need to stop for a minute to insert some slower groovy shit”, its good…it’s really good, then comes “Giles” and this one really shines, heavy, more uncompromising, the vocals are tight as hell, same goes for the guitars, “March of the Mutes” comes next … and it is some good shit, catchy as hell, then “Sanctity of Brothers” that is basically thrash … hey the boys play some cool thrash hehehe, sure it does eventually go to the more “core” of metalcore, but its a great tune nonetheless, full of original riffing, then “The Devil Has Risen”, this one is quick and dirty, again going for a more aggressive thrash, then metalcore, loads of breakdowns, cool, “This Time Was Mine” has a very impressive chorus guitar/voice combo, that goes into a stop go, damn that’s cool too, “Unstoppable” what can i say, impressive, this album just doesn’t cut corners, even though the sound seems to follow patterns, they just keep adding new stuff to the mix, keeping the pace quick and the sound fresh, great work.

Now comes “So it Goes” this one sounds like 100% Unearth, but that’s until the 0:30 mark were they just start ripping, as with most of their tracks the guitar just drives it home, and this time with an impressive solo, “Impostors Kingdom” again speeding it up, this one is just angry, “Bled Dry” again a good track, and again it seems to work on the same formula that has been used throughout the album, but still, it sounds completely original, it has everything, I’m in awesomeness state, oh no the album is almost over… “Big Bear and the Hour of Chaos” closes with a golden key, an instrumental track, just the way i like them, short and sweet.

What can i say, I’m impressed, in the land of the un-original there seems to be originality?, Well maybe there is future for us all, sure the bands that tend to do great things are the ones less constrained by the genres, that do music for musics sake, if it fits in gothic, metalcore or techno, then so be it, sure they do have a tendency to flourish or flourishments, what do i mean by that?, well they sometimes put stuff in just to say “look at me i can just rip this shit up when everyone is playing another thing”, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, and certainly you don’t need to do it that often and milk the damn thing, but that’s just my personal taste, this is an excellent album, border lining metalcore perfection, I’ve enjoyed it immensely, and it will remain on my listening library for a long time, so go on and fucking buy it.

Unearth - This Glorious Nightmare
Unearth - Giles

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What’s with me and bad albums, well i always had a big admiration for Mushroomhead’s music and creativity, no one combined a sense of alternative metal than this folks, mixing everything up and spitting musical gems, that is until now, seems frontman J. Mann is no longer part of the band and it shows… terribly, this is no evolution and if it’s a revolution than it’s not a democratic one, it sounds like shit, it lacks the aggression, it lacks the hooks, it lacks the good lyrics, it lacks everything, it sounds like their old albums but without that alternative approach, point blank “Savior Sorrow” is embarrassing.

Is there anything to grab on to? Well there are some slightly interesting stuff, and i put emphasis on slightly, its one of those albums, that could entice me to change the laws of physics and turn back time so i would stop myself from listening to it, so i wouldn’t have this bad opinion from the band, but since that didn’t happen my mind has changed from a “Mushroomhead Rock, this guys are great and not only i would buy their music, but I would watch their shows, and try and cull every girl i can get my hands on to check it out” to “Were do this guys live? Does a professional hit man accept credit card?”, this is beyond disappointment, this is a killing spree of disgruntlesness (don’t even know if that word really exists).

“Saviour Sorrow” Check List: “12 Hundred” I make similar sounds when I’m with the shits, that gurgling sound, “Simple Survival” Emo gay shit, and it’s actually one of the best in the album, it almost is as good as the worst of their previous album, “Damage Done” … “Stoned” I prefer Afromans Version, at least its funny, “Save Us” … Save us from Ourselves … A slow one and even they fuck it up, it sounds like Alanis Moriset making a duet with Nikcelback, “Tattoo” Completely Bland, It’s so bland that i had to turn my TV on to entertain me for the remaining 3 minutes, “Erase The Doubt” Oh God what were they thinking? i can’t believe they are being paid for this, this is like… being completely detached from reality and really mean it, all at the same time, “Burn” At least this one is short, “Just Pretending” Uhhh i didn’t know justin timberlake sings on this one? Uh the second at least average song on the album, “The Need” Uh nice follow up, after the last one i was almost missing the shitty song writing … “Cut Me” Oh I’ll cut something for sure “The Fallen” I’m getting emotional here, finally something really … disgusting?, i was wondering when something like that would pop up “Embrace The Ending” Slow Idiotic One, just like when you are giving blood, and the nurse forgets you are there and goes to lunch and comes back to find your sad rotting carcass.

Thank You Lord, after this experience, I’ve rekindle my belief in God… wait … God wouldn’t permit this blasphemy, not my God goddammit, damn i guess I’m back to my atheist / agnostic ways (yeah i fucking change my mind depending on the circumstances). Now speaking a bit frankly this is really a bad album, it just doesn’t make any sense, i actually can’t find any smear of interesting material, it lacks everything, maybe because i liked, yes liked, (this album is becoming a mind bender), their previous works i had big expectations, but this falls short, dead short, maybe if this wasn’t Mushroomhead i would have said it was an average album from an average band, since this is from Mushroomhead i will just say YOU GUYS SUCK.

“Without music, life would be an error” - Friedrich Nietzsche
“If its mushroomhead, i prefer the error” - fiend

Mushroomhead - Simple Survival

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Since good old Nebulous is out for every Meshuggah clone (he is such a zealot) I’m going to talk about another clone, why? because its phun with a “ph”, now Threat Signal comes from Canada, they play a sort of what Mnemic/Soilwork play on tech inspired metalcore with touches of Meshuggah like riffin, yes because Meshuggah above all else are an institution, and it seems plagiarism is a form of tribute, so lets check this one out.

“Under Reprisal”, works much like a Mnemic album, it’s actually quite eerie, going from full fledged guitar driven in a almost math shredding to a full out melodic chorus, is it good? well i said it before and i say it again, i have no problem with melodic chorus, if it’s done properly with some good judgment, some musics turn out great because they have a melodic chorus, but pleaseeeee you don’t need to put one in every song, that’s just dumb and ruins most of them, and that shows for sure in this album (not as bad as Mnemic but bad anyway), so let’s have a look, first track is “Rational Eyes”, quite good almost stop go riffing going to a clean vocal chorus that ruins it… next one is “As I Destruct” almost the same formula as before, the riff just changes a bit, but the clean vocals kills me again, they just don’t sound great, almost Mnemic bad, “One Last Breath” is more thrashlike, and it dies in the beach again… guess what… the chorus, but the rest is actually some good thrash/metalcore combo.

“Seeing Red” is a more metalcore/groove metal, until now i think it’s the best one, that is until the chorus, what a bastard band, well at least its short and sweet and drives to a funny sounding stop go/weird riffage, well not to bad overall, “A New Beginning” is next and…it sounds like “new” In Flames or Pain hehehe, funny, and not too bad, next is “Counter Balance” and… it’s actually a winner, it’s not that aggressive, it’s like… well the chorus sucks but at least there is plenty of interesting things in between, “Inane” just sounds like the first track but only slower (weird…), well it dies half way through it, but not that bad, “Now” has some blasting, uhhh, chorus sucks again, “Faceless” its actually better, it seems the more the album goes, the more it gets better, “Haunting” is also good, much better overall, and now the album is over with the appropriately named “When all is Said and Done” and its actually good.

Humm, not a single really good track, never seen so much bad clean vocal chorus since the last Mnemic album, clone anyone? or actually trying to add something new?, it seems they do a better job, the sound is just tighter and therefore more enjoyable, even though they seem to suffer from the same unexplainable need to put some clean vocal chorus in every fucking song, and driving home the same idiotic formula, hell change a bit, mix it around, grabbing the things that made things like melodic death metal or metalcore successful, and remove the hardcore/death in exchange with a more math/groove metal, is good and all, but don’t abuse it … but i guess even though it lacks originality it strives for quality, even though its like if they find a good groove riff they just milk it every time, and that’s a bit boring, i guess my only beef is really fear factories Christian Olde Wolbers production, it sucks, you suck, fear factory last album sucks and i can see your hand all over this one, i just hope it’s just you and not the band.

Threat Signal - Rational Eyes

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